The war of the cowboys

It appears as if the Bush family’s epic gunfight with Iraq enters another chapter, as President Jr. argues for “regime-change” before the UN today. Before Bush starts bombing, however, he should acknowledge the fact that the United States has a little PR problem in the rest of the world. Let me be clear: I am not arguing for a PR campaign in the Middle East to better our image—it’s too late for ad campaigns and democratic sloganeering, especially since the “collateral damage” has become harder to hide. Nor am I arguing for a smear campaign to sully what is left of Saddam’s— as the recent ABC “Primetime Thursday” interview with Saddam’s former mistress reveals all that remains of our pitiful excuse for a national debate draws its inspiration from Jerry Springer. According to excerpts from the interview, the ex-mistress provides an excellent synopsis of information about Saddam’s more salient characteristics, including that he “dyes his hair, uses herbal medicine to hide his wrinkles and occasionally takes the anti-impotence drug Viagra. The Iraqi leader favors designer suits and his favorite drink is Scotch. He likes to have milk with honey, eats gazelle meat for dinner and swims everyday to keep fit.” Apparently, Saddam’s “dark side” is closer to a Saturday afternoon in suburbia than previously thought, as he “enjoyed watching videos of his foes being tortured, sometimes wearing a cowboy hat for the occasion”. (Granted, most of the video games our children play don’t come with complementary cowboy hats—but hey—we have our presidential cowboy for that!)

Who does America expect to rely on for assistance in pursuit of regime-change in Iraq? Even the Bush-friendly leadership of Pakistan refuses to get involved. A recent interview with Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf revealed his concerns that “Mr. Bush's doctrine of pre-emptive strikes against hostile nations or organizations armed with nuclear, chemical or biological weapons could incite India to move against Pakistan”.

In other words, the Bush doctrine threatens further destabilization of the Middle East at a time when instability is particularly dangerous. Musharraf noted that "tensions are high”, with many people in the Islamic world and in the Middle East percieving “a U.S. role maybe biased towards Israel”. Given such circumstances, Musharraf believes that “undertaking an operation against another country, an Arab country and Muslim country, will certainly have negative repercussions." While there is always the possibility that Romania will send troops to Iraq, that isn’t saying much, since the Romanian government would fly to the moon in its sole submarine (more of a museum piece than a work of war) in search of the Holy Grail at Bush’s behest.

As Bush makes his case before the UN today, Congressional leaders will be watching for cues that might make their vote on the Iraq war fit smoothly with upcoming reelection campaigns. But the Bush administration’s declaration of war against Iraq, even if it gains Congressional approval, will do no more than legitimate a previously existing situation, since the United States launched Coalition aircraft strikes against Iraqi targets near Al Basrah and An Nukhayb as recently as the 25th, the 27th, and the 30th of August 2002. It is no secret that the argument for “regime-change” obscures the administration’s intent to begin another nation-building experiment in the Middle East. One might even argue that this regime-change has been "necessitated" by the diverging geopolitical interests of the US and Iraq following the last regime-change, which left Saddam Hussein in power with American support.And so the circle continues-- we prop up undemocratic regimes in the name of national interests, ignoring various human rights violations, until the undemocratic regime makes a decision Uncle Sam does not like, at which point, the administration in power starts cornering this "undemocratic regime", threatening military reprisal. Meanwhile, the lamentable fact that most Americans know very little about international governments and history makes it easier for the media to create some soap-and-lozenge story about the "American mission" or "ideal". Thus, while Bush and Comp. get their war on, most of us will look the other way, since college football, the new CBS sitcom line-up, and another school year make for enticing distraction.

In my secret life, where I might have been a Chomskyite (Greg, you have my confession now), I would have started my own syndicate and wandered the streets of Manchester in search of the working class life I currently lack. And, of course, this secret life would pair me with none other than Red Wedge hero Billy Bragg who would teach me to call all my friends "blokes" and all my enemies "Thatcherites", all the while alternating between reciting Biblical prophesies and the names of trade union heroes. On a perfectly muggy day, he would lean over the metro turnstile, my ticket in his hand, singing, "Those whose lives are ruled by dogma are waiting for a sign. The Better Dead Than Red Brigade are listening on the line. And the liberal, with a small L cries, in front of the TV while another demonstration passes on to history. Peace, bread, work, and freedom is the best we can achieve.And wearing badges is not enough in days like these." Then he would walk away with my ticket, dropping it nonchalantly into the outstretched fist of a heroin mother leaning against the grimy metro wall, while leaving my heart in the hands of she who least understands it. If you find yourself aching for a good working-class hero in these troubled times, seek out fellow blokes at Billy's show in DC on October 21st at the 9:30 Club. I might be there too-- waiting for a sign from one of my kind....