A few of my favorite sex laws, some breakable, some absurd, and some best left untouched.
In Florida, having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
In Tibet, many years ago, the law required all women prostitute themselves. This was seen as a way to gain sexual experience prior to marriage.I think the situation is the same in Alabama. In fact, the practice has even been insitutionalized through the formation of sororoties.
In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
"Female breasts," according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don't constitute "private parts" under state law.
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
The T'ang Dynasty Empress Wu Hu passed a special law concerning oral sex. She felt that a woman pleasuring a man represented the supremacy of the male over the female. Therefore, she insisted all visiting male dignitaries show their respect by pleasuring her orally when meeting. The empress would throw open her robe and her guest would kneel before her and kiss her genitals.
There is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has.Boys, I am truly sorry about this judicial negligence. Fight for your right to a free erection.
In 17th century Spain, it was illegal for anyone other than a woman's husband to see her bare feet. A woman could freely expose her breasts, but feet were considered sexual and had to be covered in the presence of men other than her husband.The beginnings of foot fetishism.
An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera. Brilliant. Welfare-to-workfare in action.
The Romans would crush a first-time rapist's gonads between two stones.
In Indiana, mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a "tendency to habitually kiss other humans."
In Krakow, Poland it's not only a crime to have sex with animals, but three-time offenders are shot in the head.Don't get me started on Krakow....
Up until 1884, a woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.
While not as extreme as the ancient Israelite punishment for adultery (stoning), Greek men still had their fair share of discomfort when their pubic hair was removed and a large radish was shoved up their rectum.The thought of radishes has never been less tempting.
In Alabama, it's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."I love it! So, wait a minute, is a chaste woman a self-dubbed "chaste woman". Consider me chaste...
In Mississippi, S & M is against the law. Specifically, "The depiction or description of flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or in undergarments or in a bizarre or revealing costume for the purpose of sexual gratification."
As recently as 1990, these states had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos: Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Washington D.C. Pitiful.
In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
An excerpt from Kentucky state legislation: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."Kinky.
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington, D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal. Guess that eliminates the old Clinton cigar-trick.
It is illegal for any member of the Nevada legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.A problem I never imagined...
It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.
In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. Beautiful.
In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.
In the state of Utah, sex with an animal—unless performed for profit—is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.
In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night).
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer.
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
In Florida, having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
In Tibet, many years ago, the law required all women prostitute themselves. This was seen as a way to gain sexual experience prior to marriage.I think the situation is the same in Alabama. In fact, the practice has even been insitutionalized through the formation of sororoties.
In London, it's illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
"Female breasts," according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don't constitute "private parts" under state law.
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
The T'ang Dynasty Empress Wu Hu passed a special law concerning oral sex. She felt that a woman pleasuring a man represented the supremacy of the male over the female. Therefore, she insisted all visiting male dignitaries show their respect by pleasuring her orally when meeting. The empress would throw open her robe and her guest would kneel before her and kiss her genitals.
There is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has.Boys, I am truly sorry about this judicial negligence. Fight for your right to a free erection.
In 17th century Spain, it was illegal for anyone other than a woman's husband to see her bare feet. A woman could freely expose her breasts, but feet were considered sexual and had to be covered in the presence of men other than her husband.The beginnings of foot fetishism.
An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera. Brilliant. Welfare-to-workfare in action.
The Romans would crush a first-time rapist's gonads between two stones.
In Indiana, mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a "tendency to habitually kiss other humans."
In Krakow, Poland it's not only a crime to have sex with animals, but three-time offenders are shot in the head.Don't get me started on Krakow....
Up until 1884, a woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.
While not as extreme as the ancient Israelite punishment for adultery (stoning), Greek men still had their fair share of discomfort when their pubic hair was removed and a large radish was shoved up their rectum.The thought of radishes has never been less tempting.
In Alabama, it's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."I love it! So, wait a minute, is a chaste woman a self-dubbed "chaste woman". Consider me chaste...
In Mississippi, S & M is against the law. Specifically, "The depiction or description of flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or in undergarments or in a bizarre or revealing costume for the purpose of sexual gratification."
As recently as 1990, these states had laws against heterosexual fellatio, cunnilingus, anal sex and the use of dildos: Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Washington D.C. Pitiful.
In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
An excerpt from Kentucky state legislation: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."Kinky.
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington, D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal. Guess that eliminates the old Clinton cigar-trick.
It is illegal for any member of the Nevada legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.A problem I never imagined...
It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.
In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. Beautiful.
In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.
In the state of Utah, sex with an animal—unless performed for profit—is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.
In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night).
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer.
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
posted by alina at
11:42 PM
